Captain Oblivious
by AccountClosedDueToHealth
Summary: Jess asking Nathan out, from Audrey's POV. Sort of spoilers for Episode 1x07, Sketchy.One-shot.


**Title: Officer Oblivious**

**Summary: Jess asking Nathan out, from Audrey's POV.**

**Disclaimer: Light Spoilers, I guess for 1x07: Sketchy. Obviously I tweaked the episode a bit. I haven't completed the first season of the show yet, so while reading this pretend the episodes following don't exist. I don't think anything anti-canonal happens, but just in case.**

**Just a little drabblesque fic that distracted me from my other works. Please, enjoy.**

…

When Audrey came back from her break, Jess Minion was sitting in front of Nathan's desk. The expression on her partner's face was stuck somewhere between confusion and incredulity. The blonde tried not to laugh as the woman continued describing a prowler she had seen on her land recently. Jess was obviously trying to get the handsome cop to come out to her house so that they could spend time together, but Nathan seemed to be having a hard time figuring out what was going on. He looked like he couldn't decide if Jess was serious about the prowler, he was trying to take notes, like the good cop he was, but his face clearly said that he didn't know how to react.

Audrey rolled her eyes. Jess had made the mistake of trying to be subtle.

The blonde didn't agree with the chief's constant jabs and hints at Nathan being a blockhead, not when it came to police work anyway. Outside of the job, she could definitely tell why Wuornos thought his son was slow. Social cues could dance naked in front of Nathan and he still wouldn't understand. Especially if they were romantic cues. Audrey had never met a man more oblivious to romantic interest than Nathan Wuornos. He certainly hadn't noticed her looking. Not that she was bitter about that, not at all.

"Tattoo of what?"

Audrey resisted the urge to smack her partner. "Does it matter? He was a six-seven, uni-browed, sling-shoting monster."

The sweetly bewildered look on Nathan's face made her want to give him a hug. His poor male mind was just trying to do its job and he couldn't understand why she was being so harsh. Audrey grabbed a file and tried to ignore Jess's valiant attempts to engage the brunette's focus. It wasn't working, Nathan had been stuck in cop mode for so long he didn't know what "I'm-trying-to-ask-you-out-without-looking-desperate" looked like. Audrey tossed the file onto her desk and pasted a bright grin on her face. It was time to rescue Officer Oblivious.

"Jess, I think Detective Wuornos need to come by and conduct a safety review of your home." She ignored the way Nathan's eyebrows pinched into his "what-are-you-doing?" face. "Let's say, around eight?"

Jess smiled and Audrey was sure the woman would have hugged her if given the chance. "Great," She turned back to Nathan, "I shot a deer, so we're having venison. Maybe you can bring a nice bottle?"

"Of wine?" He looked adorably confused by the question.

"No, anti-acid." Exasperated, Audrey cut in on the conversation again. She had been trying not to become jealous, Nathan's attitude during the situation had helped to curb that reaction, but she was running out of patience. It really wasn't fair that Jess Minion was braver than she was. She was still trying to work up the courage to ask Nathan out point blank. Of course, Audrey sniggered internally; the woman wouldn't have gotten her point across without the blonde's help. But at least Jess had tried. Looking over at her partner, she realized Nathan's mind was shutting down in an effort to process the events of the last few minutes and she tried to help him out by chatting with Jess.

They both got a giggle out of watching Nathan fumble with answering the phone, but after that it was back to work. Audrey waved to Jess as the woman left. The blonde turned to her partner, expecting the detective to start talking about the phone call, but instead found him staring at her.

"What was that all about?"

Audrey stared back at him, "Are you serious? She was trying to ask you out the whole time, the least you could have done was throw the poor girl a line instead of sitting there looking constipated."

Nathan blinked, his face settling back into its usual expression of nothing. "I am not constipated."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Maybe not physically, but emotionally? Yes."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Nathan," She cried, "You like her, she likes you- you're supposed to act on those feelings, not sit there like a lump on a dog!"

"I believe the expression is "bump on a log.'"

"Whatever. You are such a stickler for the rules Nathan, but where does it say in the rulebook that you can't have relationships?" As soon as the words left her mouth, Audrey realized that the argument had moved from Nathan-and-Jess to Her-and-Nathan and crossed her fingers, hoping that her partner wouldn't notice how personal it had become for her.

He eyed her curiously, "Why the sudden interest in my personal life?"

Audrey sighed and closed her eyes. "Never mind, just forget it okay? I'll call Jess and cancel for you if you want, I just thought…."

"You thought what?"

"I thought that that's what you wanted Nathan, to be normal. To be treated like a normal person. That's all I was trying to do. Normal people go on dates." She shrugged, "That and I kinda felt sorry for Jess, she was working really hard to get your attention."

Nathan gave her that funny little half smile he only used when he was feeling shy and Audrey felt something turn over in her stomach. "Well thank you, I think."

Audrey smile back at him. "Now, you wanna go catch some bad guys?"

"Absolutely" Nathan stood and grabbed his jacket, "C'mon, somebody died at the marina."

The blonde collected her things and followed after her partner. One of these days she would have the guts to tell Nathan how she felt. In the mean time she could try to hate Jess. "Try" being the optimal word. Audrey actually liked the woman; she was smart and stood up for herself. Sighing to herself, the blonde climbed into the truck. Jess made Nathan happy; she really couldn't hate anyone who managed to do that.


End file.
